You see, doc, I'm a Rider
by Dmackrm
Summary: Eragon finally seeks a psychiatrist's help. The Varden is happy to comply, but can even their finest psychiatrist sort out the struggles of an immortal adolescent Rider? Set during Brisingr.
1. It's my father, doc

Dr. Edward Newman

July 23, 1224

Patient: Eragon Shadeslayer

Session 1

I have recently met a new patient who seems to be dealing with a vast array of psychological and emotional struggles. Our first session was today, and we mainly talked about his parents, a topic which has been torturing him for a while now. It went as follows:

"So, Eragon, what seems to be troubling you?"

"It's my father, doc. I'm an orphan, you know."

"Mmm hmm. Raised by a relative?"

"Yes, my uncle Garrow, until he was murdered."

"I see. And I assume you've found out who your biological father is, which is what is troubling you."

"Yes, doc. I found out a couple months ago, and the knowledge has been driving me insane."

"Would you like to tell me who it was?"

"Yes, doc. It was Morzan, first and last of the Thirteen Forsworn, who betrayed the Riders to Galbatorix, and ended an era of peace."

"Mmm hmm. And how does that make you feel?"

"(sniffling) Horrible, doc. My father murdered millions of people. He was less than human."

"I can see how that could be troubling."

"Yeah, it is. I mean, when I was a kid I would always pretend that maybe my father was someone of noble birth, you know, who went to parties with all the lords and ladies of the court, but geez. Never had I expected this…"

"Let's talk some more about your Uncle Garrow. Was he close to you?"

"Like a father, doc."

"Therein lies the solution to your problem. Morzan was your father in no more than blood, but your Uncle Garrow cared for you throughout your entire life. He is your father, not Morzan."

"Huh. I never thought of it that way. Gee, thanks doc!"

"No problem."

I think I've helped him. He seems nice enough, but I think I'll be seeing more of him soon.


	2. I love her, doc

Dr. Edward Newman

August 2, 1224

Patient: Eragon Shadeslayer

Session 2

Eragon's back again. I must say, I'm very interested in this patient. He seems to lead a complicated life. I wonder what's troubling him now?

"Hello, Eragon, nice to see you again."

"(sighing) Hi, doc. Wish I could say the same."

"What's wrong?"

"It's this elf, doc. Her name is Arya. I love her, but she rejected me. I can't stop thinking about her."

"Interesting. Did she state her reasons?"

"Yeah, age difference, and the fact that I can't really be involved in a relationship when I'm trying to save the world."

"Mmm hmm. How old is she?"

"Over a hundred years, doc."

"Yes, I can see where that could be a problem."

"No, duh. Sometimes I feel you prolong sessions just so you can squeeze in a few cliché statements."

"Wait, what?"

"Nothing…"

"I've got it! Why don't you hang around some of the ladies of Nasuada's court for a while. I'm sure you'll find at least one favorable, and then you could take your mind off Arya."

"You're probably right, doc, except there's a problem there too."

"Which is?"

"You see, doc, I'm immortal."

"You're kidding!"

"Nope."

"And the ladies of Nasuada's court aren't."

"Correct."

"And this Arya is, because she's an elf."

"Exactly."

"Hmm… Ah! How about you meet some elves your own age!"

"There are only two elves even close to my age, and they're children. Since most of the time humans are mortal, they grow much more rapidly than elves, so while Arya is much older than me, we're at about the same stage in life."

"So it's not really fair for her to judge you by age."

"Exactly!"

"This is a tough one. You're an immortal human, unable to find your place among humans or elves. I suggest you stop actively pursuing Arya, and maybe she'll warm up to you."

"You know, doc, I think I'll do just that."


	3. I'm a killer, doc

Dr. Edward Newman

August 18, 1224

Patient: Eragon Shadeslayer

Session 3

Eragon is here again. He looks particularly troubled this time. I hope I can help him. If he can't pull himself together…

"Hello, Eragon. Let's get straight to the point. What's wrong?"

"Doc, I have a personal question."

"Shoot."

"Have you ever killed anyone?"

"No, I can't say that I have."

"Then you wouldn't understand."

"I think it would be helpful to tell me, Eragon. I'm trained to help people."

"It's just that, in my position, I have to kill people. It's expected. It's needed. They know that they're about to die a minute before they do. You can see the fear in their eyes, the cold, final fear of knowing that you're about to have your life torn away from you."

"Eragon, they're evil. Think about the amount of people _they've_ killed, the pain that _they've _caused."

"But that's just it. They're _not_ evil. These are men who have been torn from their homes, from their families, against their will, and forced to fight for Galbatorix. It could just have easily been me instead of them, or my family."

"So, what you're saying is that you're killing the people you're trying to help. Could you not recruit them?"

"We could not, not even if they wanted to. Galbatorix makes all his soldiers swear oaths of fealty to him in the ancient language, so that they are magically bound to serve him. He's enslaving the people, and we're killing them."

"Well, then think about it this way: Galbatorix is going to keep enslaving the people and building up an army until someone kills him. Would it be better to kill the soldiers he has now, or let the whole of Alagaësia lead a life of slavery?"

"I guess it is necessary, but that doesn't make me feel any better about doing it."

"Okay, then think about it like this: How would you feel if someone you cared about was killed or injured by the soldiers?"

"I would go mad."

"Exactly. If that were to happen, all hope would be lost."

"Okay, doc. You've given me a lot to think about. I don't think I'll ever be completely at ease, but at least now I can do what's necessary."

"I hope so, for the sake of Alagaësia."


	4. But he's my brother, doc

Dr. Edward Newman

August 29, 1224

Patient: Eragon Shadeslayer

Session 4

Eragon's here. He looks tired; could this have to do with The Battle of the Laughing Dead I've been hearing about?

"Hi, doc."

"Hi, Eragon. What's the matter?"

"(plopping down on the couch) I failed, doc. Failed my people, and failed myself."

"Hmm. Tell me what happened."

"Have you heard news of a new rider in Alagaësia? His name is Murtagh."

"I see. I assume you battled him at The Battle of the Laughing Dead?"

"Yes."

"He defeated you?"

"No," he said in disgust. "I beat him."

"So what's the matter?"

"He got away. He's the second biggest threat in all of Alagaësia, and I let him get away."

"I see."

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill him."

"Any particular reason?"

"Doc, he's my brother. Morzan is his father as well as mine."

"Eragon, I thought we learned to distance yourself from Morzan?"

"I know, but that's not it. We used to travel together before he was turned by Galbatorix. He saved my life on more than one occasion, and I loved him like a brother. We were brothers in everything but blood."

"Which is why you couldn't bring yourself to kill him."

"Exactly."

"I see. And how does that make you feel?"

"Like a failure, doc. When everyone's counting on you and then you fail them, man, it's the pits, doc."

"In a way, it's comforting."

"How do you figure, doc?"

"You still have human emotions, and you're not a cold-hearted killer. Personally, I wouldn't follow anyone who would kill their own brother."

"I guess you're right, doc. If that's so, though, then what are we going to do about Murtagh?"

"Isn't there still one more dragon egg?"

"Yeah, doc."

"I think the task to kill Murtagh will fall upon the last Rider. You shouldn't worry about killing him. Capturing him, perhaps, but don't dwell on killing him. You'll only drive yourself insane."

"Thanks, doc. I don't know what I would do without you."

"Probably go mad, in which case there would be no hope for Alagaësia. The fate of the world rests on my shoulders, the way I see it."


	5. I'm alone, doc

Daniel Mackler

October 5, 2008

Psychiatrist's Log

Dr. Edward Newman

September 17, 1224

Patient: Eragon Shadeslayer

Session 5

Eragon looks happy about something, although I still see hints of worry and fear in his eyes. This is the last session I can give for him, because the Varden needs me elsewhere. Some guy named Roran worried about his wife. Whatever other problems Eragon has, they better be sorted out now.

"Hi, Eragon. You look happy for a change."

"I know. Guess what, doc! Morzan's not my real father!"

"Really! That's great news! So what did you want to see me about?"

"What I'm about to tell you, doc, is strictly confidential. The less people that know about it the better, and I'm only telling you because you're in charge of my mental health."

"I understand."

"In Ellesméra there was another Rider, an elf, who was my mentor. Of all the riders of eld, he was the only one to survive, and he taught me. I had always thought that we would defeat Galbatorix together."

"He means a lot to you."

"Meant. He was killed in battle."

"I understand your loss."

"No, you don't, doc. I'm the last good rider. I'm completely alone. The responsibility to kill Galbatorix is only on me. I guess I always had a feeling that it would just be me and him in the end, but it was nice to know that there was another rider. Now there's just me."

"No, Eragon. It's Galbatorix who's alone. Even his own soldiers wouldn't stand by him if they were freed. When you finally confront him, everyone in Alagaësia will be there to try and help, and those who can't be there in person will be praying for you. Galbatorix will have no one but himself."

"I guess that helps a little, but to be the last rider…"

"You forget the final dragon egg. If we manage to take it back, which I'm sure we will, you'll have another rider in there with you."

"I guess I'm not as alone as I thought."

"Indeed not, Eragon. This is our last session. Anything else you want to tell me about."

"Nothing, doc. Finally, everything is clear. You've really been a big help to me."

"Don't thank me. It's my job."


End file.
